I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
