So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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