I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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