Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
