Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
