WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
