Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
