dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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