this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
