He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
