Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
