I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
