I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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