my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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