its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize