I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
