we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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