Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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