Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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