Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
