Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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