and i looked up. we had an audience...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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