She said her name was "party"
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
