be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
