When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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