im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
