Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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