Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
