The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
