Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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