'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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