He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize