where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
