that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
