is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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