i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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