great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
