But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
