I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
