Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She's the barista slut.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Randomize
