We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
