An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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