i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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