Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
