she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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