You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
