the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
