Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
