The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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