I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I cut my penus on the lid.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
