If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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