so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
