Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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