Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
