Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
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dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
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Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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