Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
how can u be prego again
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Church boner. Awkwardddd
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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