Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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