his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize