just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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