I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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