But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do vagina's smell?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
