I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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